Must My Wannabe Content Creator Pal Cease Exploiting People for Material?

The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?